Dear Chicago,

You'll never guess.

You know the girl you said I'd meet someday?
Well, I've got something to confess.
She picked me up on Friday.
Asked me if she reminded me of you.
I just laughed and lit a cigarette,
Said "that's impossible to do. "
My life's gotten simple since.
And it fluctuates so much.
Happy and sad and back again.
I'm not crying out to much.
Think about you all the time.
It's strange and hard to deal.
Think about you lying there.
And those blankets lie so still.
Nothing breathes here in the cold.
Nothing moves or even smiles.
I've been thinking some of suicide.
But there's bars out here for miles.
Sorry about the every kiss.
Every kiss you wasted back.
I think the thing you said was true,
I'm going to die alone and sad.

The wind's feeling real these days.
Yeah, baby, it hurt's me some.
Never thought I'd feel so blue.
New York City, you're almost gone.
I think that I've fallen out of love,
I think I've fallen out of love... with you.

Dear You.

i hate everything about you.

you're a fucking cunt and i wish you'd drop off the face if the planet.

you make me physically sick and if i have to be in the same room as you again i will only just be able to restrain myself from stabbing you in the face.

ggrrrrr

get out of my head

you arent supposed to be there

where I wish I could be all day, everyday.

hiding in a book

dancin machine..

what a weekend.
friday night was a little too eventful for me and I ended up quite a sick little girl. But! having said that 777 was packed out and so much fun! between the massive elvis walls, the metalocalypse stamp, free drinks and djing i had an amazing time... just went a bit far and a bit off plan. but thats nothing out of the usual for us..

then i had to get out of bed at 730am because Pam got here. i cooked us breakfast and we watched Dirty Work. Hilars. it was so good to see her again after so long and i miss her already. But she's coming up again soon to party... after snoop dog. hahahaha. brilliant.

saturday night was great! everyone came over for drinks (PUNCH) and we sat outside and talked shit for a few hours and then went out. Pam and I didnt stay out long. haha. SO EXHAUSTED.

and now. now I am sitting at work thinking of everything thats going on at the moment. Just thinking about how many amazing people i have met this year and how i should probably be a better person towards them.. all these brilliant ladies.

i am also the proud owner of some new shiny sexy sun specs. Ive waited so longgggg. and I got them cheap cheap on sale. in the words of PeachE BARGAIN!!

I'd really like to go and have lunch and hang out but ill have to wait a while longer... gahh.

killing me.

Can I please have

this saturday is going to be amazing.

FRICK

Decision hasnt been made yet.


PLEASE I JUST WANT TO KNOW NOW.




The wait is killing me

I have noticed

that more and more life is reminding me of highschool.


and, like in highschool, no matter how much I try, or care no one really wants to be my friend.


I dont have enough material possessions to entice all the wrong people.



Im also still wondering why I even care?

Good times will roll on

Aha shake.

So, the last few days.

We're still waiting to hear if we got the apartment we applied for that has the best/worst location. You can see it from the spectrum/qbar balcony. Right behind Hungraaay Cracks. It was so cute and pretty much perfect... I didnt want to get my hopes up but of course I have.... and I am the most impatient person in the world. I have been driving peach crazy with a constant barrage of emails.. "heard anything yet???"...

No, havent heard anything yet. Sigh.

I had the amazing news that Seans dad came out of open heart surgery fine and dandy a couple of minutes ago! What a relief, for reals.

I had a great weekend last weekend. Amazing tales of big yellow buckets of punch and whole bottles of vodka. And lots and lots of Kings of Leon!! I had the best time dressing up as twinsies with Lulu and her being scared witless by Bob. Hilars.

I was in dire need of a girly day/night and it was freaking amazz. Even if i ended up only staying out on the town for like an hour hahahah.

I am so excited that Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam is coming up this weekend. Man oh man. Its going to be huge. So! If you're around on saturday come over for punch and sweet hangs and then come chill with the "trendy" kids at vegas woo!


Sigh. can I go home now?

YESSSS

im doing pre drinks.

im making punch!!!!!!!!!!!

in a bucket


yesssss

You'd better learn to crawl before I walk away..

So im sitting at home having my first listen to the whole kings of leon album.... and i am getting so excited. when they tour... its going to be amazing. seriously. I am two songs in and already so impressed with it.

its much more mature and confident... but still definately brings the sexy which i am, as you know, relieved about.

Their album launch at spectrum should be huge on saturday night... free giveaways of their whole back catalogue plus the newbies... and everyone loves free shit.


anyway im sitting here and im bored and wishing i had someone to hang out with, boo no friends boo haha.

but really.

CUNTWHOREBITCHSHITFUCKINGWANK

i am hating on life so hard today you wouldnt even believe.

i fucking hate people who have their keypad tones turned up on their phones and they sit there and type novel long sms' and it just beeps incessently and i want to reach over and tear their eyes out.

i hate people who are cunts, who know they are cunts, who know i think they are cunts but still persist on trying to be friendly. you dont like me, i pretty much think you're the stupidest most self centered thing on two legs and would like to see you hit by a car.. lets just leave it at that?

like i said. hating on life.

i hate staring into space all day every day feeling like a complete fucking idiot and not getting any help because no one has any fucking social skills to explain anything.

i hate not being able to punch that greasy moronic cunt in the face every time i am forced to lay eyes on him.

FUCK

One way flight to where?

the u.s?

the u.k?

i cant decide as of yet.


but ive got to do something i cant sit here in front of this stupid computer any longer.


im losing my mind.

Good Morning

Ah its such a lovely day outside today, and it sucks that i am stuck inside so far from a window and the niceness. sigh.

tonight i shall be attending the Australian Penthouse Pet of the Year Awards.

LOL.

should be interesting. there's performances by the pets apparently. and im wondering if it involves ping pong balls... hmmm. itd be interesting to say the least.

i dont really have anything of substance to say. i just cant be bothered starting any work yet.


sigh.

truths

people are fucking stupid

for reals.


pull your heads out. the whole world doesnt revolve around you no matter how much you think it does

Most Amazing

The most amazing night i could ever ask for.



Dustin!!!!


I have looked up to and followed this trashbag since the age of about 15.
Many memories of reading Thrasher with Viney and making Kurt angry because he hated him and liked all the hip hop kids and gangster skaters.


Piss Drunx. Fuck Yes

everyone has their side kick

their partner in crime.



i wish i had mine




miss p is going to blow everyone away.......







eventually

i dont care how gay it is

i think this is hilarious

day one

my stomach is like an opera of groans.

sigh.

just chillin at work.

hoping miss CA and young OA are doing alright.



















Get better soon stud

doors closing, please stand clear

i wonder how many times in my life i have heard those words. I don't think i could even count. anyway. I'm sitting on the train on the way home from gosford. Every trip up here makes me think i should really find out if he's still alive. I always wonder, and then it seems as soon as we're back in the city it completely slips my mind. I think that makes me a pretty shit person. It does quite literally make my heart hurt to think i don't know where he is and we don't talk anymore. But i guess its just an old story that ran out of pages to be written on. That seems to happen a lot. I've had some self realisations lately that haven,t been great. Not even remotely good. Which sucks. Especially when its so hard to find something good to start with. Its the same old complaints again and again. Can i please go back and not be this person? 'Well i hate who i was, and who i've been since'. Pretty much sums things up nicely. I cant pretend i'm happy in this (over sized, flabby revolving) skin these days. Vicious. Miserable about it, but too spent to help myself. Blah blah blah. Cry me a river. Thanks jt. Tunnels make my ears pop. Ouch.

please sir

New Tunes

So usually on cryspace I avoid adding any bands or anything cos they usually suck in a big way and its all the same shit. usually no, i do not want to add your crying emo/stupid electro indie bullshit piece of crap band fuck off and die.

but. i was feeling the need to annoy a certain someone trying to sleep last night so i started listening to a band that had sent me a friend request and, shock horror, they were good.

Anyone who knows me knows how badly i want to learn french and go live like a filthy snob in paris. They'd also know how deep down despite the hair and hooker heels i am still very much a filthy tomboy who loves dirty crappy punk rock.

Considering those two facts, The Rabats are now my new favourite.

Its intense feral punk/hardcore thats been missing from my life for too long. Its angry and violent, the type of thing you'd listen to while getting really wasted and punching your grandma in the face.

I am pretty certain its in french, which is just another reason to sign up next year to learn it. But alas, if you have no urge to learn it im certain you could just stand there an yell and have just as much fun.

its so nice to find something with attitude and a different range of emotions other than "ohhhh ohhh my life is so bland and my girlfriend is so far away and ohhh im so amazing at usuing metaphors to show how deep i am blah blah blah"

So! check check them out, and their top friends are full of other brilliant bands like The Pousers and Les Prostitutes which also definitely warrant your ears and your time.

But if you'll excuse me im going to go spit on old facists and give the two finger salute.

Boyfriends do it best

what a fucking buzzkill. jesus christ. way to ruin a great day asshole.

for a monday, a monday where i had to work, it was pretty freaking good. it went fast and i spent most of it making flashing seizure inducing banners, talking smack with miss CA and getting a little bit over the top excited about Stormy's contribution to making me look heaps cooler than i am. oh ray bans how ive lusted after you since before i can remember.

i had so many exciting tales to tell. but alas you're in your angry pose:
who knew you were so flexible.

my eyes feel like theyre hanging out of my head and god damn it does my hair need a wash. fuck that its so much effort these days with my 896348936kilos of hair hanging all over the place.

anyway. THANKS. for turning today around. what a hateful look spite fest evening this will turn out to be.


***edit.

sigh. i do love him though.

Marry Me

You're pretty proficient at putting my thoughts into words ( in the least faggot sounding way ever) without knowing it and now i'm going to be rocking the cool because of you.

best.bitch.ever

Courtney Awesome

In case ya'll didnt know this lovely lady keeps me and my shit together. I dont know anyone else who would cop multiple stupid phone calls every single day and still be happy to hear from me.

YOUNGMACHETEMAFIA

time of our lives

things are a little more than crazy and this week will be no exception.

with dentist appointments in gosford on wednesday

judas priest and sevensevenseven:





and then SEX + GLUE:

My love is up for sale

price:

**note

not that i dont appreciate and love those weekend ladies. but the dream team will always accrue jealously from me

jealousy

i long for the days of girly chats tucked up in bed with messy food and bad tv.


not weekend friends i try to make too much of a connection with when all they know about me is what i like to drink

and i cant..

help feeling like i'm missing something.

exactly what i need.

because i am hating life with so much passion these last few weeks.

i am not an office bimbo. i am not made/cut out for this bullshit.

"time to give myself a hug. i’ll pretend i gave it to everyone on the planet who needed one that moment, cause i am ok. so are you. we are all gonna be ok. no matter what. no matter how weird things get down here on this little space-water egg planet- we are gonna be ok. xx"


thanks ry.

much appreciated

Why I cant wait for 2009

Season Three Skins

Season Three Kyle XY

Season Two The Inbetweeners

Even social insights are reusable.

What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing
Can't you tell that your tie's too wide
Maybe I should buy some old tab collars
Welcome back to the age of jive
Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey
You can't dress trashy
'Til you spend a lot of money
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound
Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me

What's the matter with the car I'm drivin'
Can't you tell that it's out of style
Should I get a set of white wall tires
Are you gonna cruise a miracle mile
Nowadays you can't be too sentimental
You best bet's a true baby blue Continental
Hot funk, cool punk, even if it's old junk
It's still rock and roll to me

Oh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers
'Cause it's always been the same old scene
There's a new band in town
But you can't get the sound
From a story in a magazine
Aimed at your average teen

How about a pair of pink sidewinders
And a bright orange pair of pants
Well, you could really be a Beau Brummel baby
If you just give it half a chance
Don't waste your money on a new set of speakers
You get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers
Next phase, new wave , dance craze, anyways
It's still rock and roll to me


What's the matter with the crowd I'm seein'
Don't you know that their out of touch
Should I try to be a straight 'A' student
If you are then you think too much
Don't you know about the new fashion honey
All you need are looks and a whole lotta money
It's the next phase, new wave , dance craze, anyways
It's still rock and roll to me

Yeah "lady" I kept your secrets.

I am fairly persistent at doing a whole lot of nothing. I have constant Monday-itis and its driving me insane.
Right along with everything else in my life right now.
It’s hard to exist in a group of people who are constantly misleading each other. I feel like a fly on the wall all the time and I watch them interact with each other and wonder how they can be happy with this?

From all my years of sitting quietly in the background has given me this insight into people and how they work. It sounds so patronizing and well… stuck up. But from never having to be in social situations, from never having any friends and from spending my time on the sideline… in a way has made me better but at the same time worse. And its hard to explain it to someone I care about it when I have no proof other than what I know in my heart is true. So I will always be the bad guy. I will always be seen as the judgmental one. The rude one. But I am not judging them; at least I try not to. They are welcome to do and say what they like.

But when it concerns someone who means everything to me then I can’t sit back and watch it all happen. Mainly because I don’t want to let this person think it is okay to treat me in this way. I don’t want to end up feeling like I can treat people that way.

Honesty is the best policy and I am honest to a fault. Blunt to the point of no return and if it’s not right. Well I don’t want to be.

And if I am to be honest then I feel disgust that I am the one that is constantly judged. I am the crazy one who needs help, the shit girlfriend, the trashy talentless idiot who picks the wrong friends and makes time for the wrong people. The only thing stopping me from giving out everyone of these assholes secrets is that it would hurt the one person who (most of the time) doesn’t deserve it. Not the ones who do.

It’s all well and good, but my happy face is tiring of their bullshit.

Its all so cliché and corny but I feel like I’m being sucked into a place and being morphed into someone I don’t want to be. I want more but don’t have the guts to do it. Or the skills. Either or. I am proficient in self loathing and wallowing in self pity though. So if you need lessons please feel free to contact me.

I need some sort of stability and in this world and with this life it’s not something I have. All I have to rely on is always having a vodka in one hand and a smoke in the other and all my brain cells and memories and what little talent I have just going down the drain.

I hate that person. But I don’t know how to be anyone else.