Easy Heart

road trip.

2009-01-31T17:46:00.002+11:00

its been a while my lovely. I'm hanging out the last little bit of work before i leave town. Cute boy, car air freshner, darts darts darts. Holding hands down the highway. Sigh. Surprise visits to my mum mum because i'm cute like that. :)

The end of an era.

2009-01-05T11:14:00.002+11:00

So, im sitting here amongst my bags and suitcases waiting for my poppy to call me.
I'm looking around at everything ive seen every day for a year... and it hurts. im scared stiff. even though this is my decision and i know its what i have to do.

only time will make this better. and ive got all the time in the world now.

fine in oh nine. i hope it continues with the run of good times between the bad ones.

new years resolutions

2009-01-02T22:11:00.002+11:00

so im not one for these resolution things. its all kind of... i dont know i cant think of the word.

anyway. all i plan to do is keep my chin up. powers of positive thinking. and take everyday as it comes.

spend some quality time with myself and get my life together.

come on two thousand and fine

home sweet home. or sort of

2008-12-30T17:38:00.002+11:00

so im back in sydney and the weather is so much more amazing than i remember. grass isnt greener north of the border for this little pale kid.

and so im thrown back into the storm that was my life when i left here 10 days ago. things havent gotten any better, havent gotten any easier. im still left sitting here wondering what the hell im going to do with the shit pile that is my life right now.

im so torn because i dont want to hurt people. him in particular. but things right now.. i need a more permanent vacay for my brain. i need to sort through the rubble and see if i can salvage anything worthwhile.

i dont know how long it will take and i know how indefinates can tear people apart. but all i have to give i am giving and its still not enough.

shit.

fern gully lied..

2008-12-28T21:56:00.005+11:00

rain forests aren't fun and romantic. 5km hikes in ballet flats with up and down rain forest mountains at seven thirty in the morning. Spiders and leeches and ticks oh my! Together with mosquito's big enough to saddle and ride around it was an interesting morning.. Die hard two in the afternoon and night swims topped off with cane toad golf. Its been a long day. Dear me. Tomorrow night we say our final goodbye's to sunny queensland and head back to sydney to pick up where i left off getting out of house and finding a home.

2008-12-25T18:24:00.003+11:00

townsville, the weather is hot, the flies and mosquito's run rampant and i have still not failed to be the palest person around. I'm not missing much from home other than a few friends and my gorgeous baby kitty. That said i couldn't live here. Too slow. I guess i thrive on being run into the ground. I'm much too relaxed here. People are still making up stories despite me being however many thousand km's away. Brilliant. So many people to put in their place so little time.

rehab.. No no no.

2008-12-23T20:15:00.001+11:00

i don't ever want to drink again. I just.. I just need a friend. I'm not going to spend ten weeks, have everyone think i'm on the mend. Now its not just my pride, its just till these tears have dried.

2008-12-23T17:59:00.001+11:00

i.ve just stopped to think how over the years i have lost contact with so many important people from my life due to complicated relationships.. On both sides. Mainly peoples girlfriends just don't like me.. But the loss kind of tuggs at me constantly whether i recognise the source or not. Usually everything is masked in a hangover. But dreams of friendships past seem to be coming back to haunt me again. I need to get back to my own stomping ground.

something to look forward to

2008-12-15T15:26:00.003+11:00

its always nice to have good things coming up to look forward to. it doesnt happen often. but when it rains it pours right? in the bad and good. so despite the fact everyone seems to think they can make up bullshit stories about things they know nothing about and talk shit till their faces turn blue. i still have a lot of good things coming up to outweigh them.

new years on a budget. summery dresses and sandals in the park with lots of drinks and real friends and tunes. celebrating with the people who stuck by and knew the truth over everything was all that mattered.

good gigs: the black keys, the arctic monkeys and ryan adams all in one month. spent with the people i care most about. trashalicious.

finally living with my best friend and all round best person to live (aka the "homewrecker"): pam is finally getting out of wagga and moving up here. we have plans of amazing crib decorating, good food and morning yoga dates. being around someone i trust with my life will be a good thing for me. things will be complete.

i figure things can only go up from here.

"They say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.... except polio"

facebook

2008-12-15T13:08:00.002+11:00

so i log in today and theres the little flag thing to say i have notifications or what not.

"6 people have answered a question about your personal life, click here to find out what they wrote"

you've got to be kidding me!

anyway, day 2 of diet. yesterday was the first in over a week where i'd had less then 4 vodka's. i only had one. and i went for a long stroll.

life's got to get better somehow

2008-12-13T21:00:00.003+11:00

people seriously cant keep their big fucking noses out of my shit. i am tired of hearing about things that ive "said" or "done"... false stories about me, my friends or my friendships. I realise your lives are shit and you need something to occupy your time, but find some other poor twat to make "friends" with and then tear down because i couldnt care less about all of you.

its funny how people think they have some relevance in my life when really if i ever see their faces again it will be too soon.

find someone else to heckle, or better still, just go kill yourself.

2008-12-08T03:27:00.002+11:00

i just walked every dark back alley i could find to my local seven eleven to buy chicken twisties and pizza subs at half past three in the morning. This is all after being awake less than three hours before getting drunk and then going to a pub till it closed then getting a cab to go to the only open bar in the city. Before having to go home because my friends left. I love life

my life plan

2008-12-07T19:43:00.003+11:00

goes something like this:

me, pam, grace, court and owen start selling class a's to make money to move to new york. once there pam will become a hot shot lawyer and will go through husbands such as justin timberlake, eric bana and jeremy piven. courtney will become the worlds most coveted fashion designer and make an item that will become the new birkin bag. grace will be the next and best victorias secret model and be the most known face across the globe and (for some reason unbeknown to me) marry john mayer. owen will grow up, marry a pop star and have strange names children such as broom closet and paper trail. and i... i will have my own tragic dating show, end up on celebrity rehab and then write a book about my life. which will then be turned into a hallmark channel made for tv movie.

and we'll all live happily ever after.

and now the song this reminds me of:

From a phone booth in Vegas Jessie calls at 5 AM
To tell me how shes tired of all of them
She says baby I've been thinking about a trailer by the sea
We could go to Mexico you the cat and me
We'll drink tequila and look for seashells
Now doesn't that sound sweet
Jessie you always do this every time I get back on my feet

Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gunna be
By now I should know better
Your dreams are never free
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me
Oh Jessie u can always sell any dream to me

She asked me how the cats been
I say Moses he's just fine
But he used to think about you all the time
We finally took your pictures down off the wall
Jessie how do you always seem to know just when to call
She says get yourself together
Bring Mose and drive real fast and I listen to her promise
I swear to God this time it's gunna last

Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gunna be
By now I should know better
Your dreams are never free
But tell me all about our little trailor by the sea
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me
Oh, Jessie you can always sell any dream to me

Jessie you can always sell any dream to me

I'll love you in the sunshine
Lay you down in the warm white sand
And who knows maybe this time
Things'll turn out just the way you planned

Jessie paint your pictures about how it's gunna be
By now I should know better
Your dreams are never free
But tell me all about our little trailor by the sea
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me
Oh, Jessie u can always sell any dream to me

2008-12-06T22:32:00.000+11:00

why does everything have to be so hard

2008-12-05T19:04:00.002+11:00

oh dear

I am the walking wounded

2008-12-05T15:41:00.003+11:00

waking to a room chilled to almost goosebump temperature to stave off the dark sweats. the floor is littered with last nights outfits and fast food wrappers. i don't even want to think how many times i've dragged myself up those stairs at 7am, incoherent, stumbling, shaking, laughing, crying. a ten car pile up.

shit.

i feel like maybe i rendered myself unconscious at some point last night, stopped breathing. starved my brain of oxygen so when i came to i had the iq equivalent (and looks) of a basset hound.

i need to buy a Dictaphone.

Courtney Awesome

2008-12-02T14:57:00.001+11:00

makes me sexy
god damn.
best present ever

You know me better than I know myself.

2008-12-01T15:58:00.003+11:00

My first vinyl courtesy of Sean + Nicky. Oh dear, my today has a Saviour, its Ryan Adams vinyl.

birthdaylicious

2008-11-29T15:20:00.002+11:00

i am now the proud owner of a ticket to mr RYAN ADAMS + The Cardinals

and

kings of mother fucking leon.

i have nothing to wear.

p.s

2008-11-29T03:03:00.001+11:00

happy birthday to me

hotties

2008-11-29T02:50:00.001+11:00

john cougar mellencamp muck arounds

human traffic shit yes!

2008-11-28T18:46:00.000+11:00

Why would I want a man? They're all emotionally retarded, egotistical pricks who fuck with your head. They try to control you and make you feel like the whore of Babylon if you wear a mini skirt. I'm an independent girl who wears lipstick because she wants to, not because men find it more attractive. I'm fine being single. I am! Peachy fuckin' creamy.

2008-11-28T18:40:00.001+11:00

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself

And hidden in the public eye

Such a stellar monument to loneliness

Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes

Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by

But you're barely scraping by...

Well this is one time, well this is one time

That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone

Or anyone at all.

vodka

2008-11-28T16:28:00.000+11:00

its a love hate relationship we have

dude?

2008-11-26T22:12:00.000+11:00

you're making me insane in the best and worst ways

a dream is a wish your heart makes

2008-11-24T16:53:00.003+11:00

so i keep having these intense dreams about sleeping with girls that look like playboy models, my hair falling out, eating noodles badly, giant jumping castles and teaching little kids to swim with snorkles in the old wagga pool.

something in my subconscious is trying to tell me something.... im just not quite sure what!!!

its my birthday in 5 days and, the same as every year, im half excited half dreading it. something always manages to go really wrong... but... i dont know. this year i should have almost everyone i love around me and party prescriptions to die for (not literally i hope). fingers crossed everything goes off without a hitch.

2008-11-24T16:28:00.000+11:00

you see, it's never bad enough
to just leave or give up
but, its never good enough to feel right

2008-11-23T21:16:00.000+11:00

We wanna go somewhere else. We're not threatened by people anymore. All our insecurities have evaporated. We're in the clouds now. We're wide open. We're spacemen orbiting the earth. The world looks beautiful from here, man. We're nympholeptics, desiring for the unobtainable. We risk sanity for moments of temporary enlightenment. So many ideas. So little memory. The last thought killed by anticipation of the next. We embrace an overwhelming feeling of love. We flow in unison. We're together. I wish this was real. We want a universal level of togetherness, where we're comfortable with everyone. We're in rhythm. Part of a movement. A movement to escape. We wave goodbye. Ultimately, we just want to be happy. Heh, yeah, hang on, what the fuck was I just talking about?

2008-11-23T16:27:00.000+11:00

amazing night

2008-11-23T14:32:00.000+11:00

i had one.

absence makes the heart grow fonder

2008-11-19T21:47:00.002+11:00

i miss courtney, she lives too far(t) away. she is me in another younger better looking body, we keep each other sane, we're each others home from home.

i miss grace, she's hot, and amazing and i feel like i never get to see her.

i miss pip. GET A DAMN PHONE ALREADY. theres been so many times ive wanted to call you and cant.

and lu+del; they blow my mind and make me think there are actually decent people out there to meet and hang with.

for someone who does nothing all day every day i never have much time to see people.

these people distract ,me from the fact that ive put in so much effort with people who dont give a shit, the people who i stuck up for, who i thought were genuine, who i now realise will take take take and never return. im so tired of flogging those couple of dead horses. my arms are tired and im better off without you anyway. listen up! you;re more than welcome to use and abuse who you are at present because i dont like them either!

oh. i might have a job soon. look out world.

The countdown begins

2008-11-18T17:17:00.001+11:00

11 days till my birthday!

if love is rough with you

2008-11-18T14:38:00.001+11:00

be rough with love

No Respect

2008-11-17T19:23:00.003+11:00

Once again proving you dont give a sh

the things i would do to be able to just walk away right now.

Anywhere but here, because this is the last place i want to be

someone come save me

2008-11-15T16:49:00.001+11:00

flight centre

2008-11-15T00:07:00.000+11:00

your website makes me want to tear out my eyes with blunt razors.

booking flights=worst

it really was

2008-11-14T23:40:00.003+11:00

sporting the worlds greatest hang over we ventured into the city for a job interview and some much needed grease... i then got coerced into browsing through some of the most expensive jewelery/clothes/shoes and WATCHES i have seen in my life.

oh how i wished to be a rich skank. best day ever..............

anyone want to buy me a $6,550 watch?

2008-11-14T17:06:00.002+11:00

i keep going to post.... about all the partying, the frieeeeends, the encounters, the hangovers... open letters to carbon copies, heartbreak, loss, confusion.

but.... i guess im just too lazy.

2008-11-03T19:27:00.004+11:00

While this town's busy sleeping,
All the noise has died away.
I walk the streets to stop my weeping,
She'll never change her ways.

Don't fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her.
And my heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
She's somewhere out there now.

Her love is a rose, pale and dying.
Dropping her petals in land unknown
All full of wine, the world before her, was sober with no place to go.

Don't fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her.
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
She's somewhere out there now.

Well my tears fall down as I try to forget,
Her love was a joke from the day that we met.
All of the words, all of her men,
all of my pain when I think back to when.

Remember her hair as it shone in the sun,
the smell of the bed when I knew what she'd done.
Tell myself over and over you won't ever need her again.

But don't fool yourself,
she was heartache from the moment that you met her.
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
She's out there somewhere now.

Oh She was heartache from the day that I first met her.
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget you, somehow.
Cause I know you're somewhere out there right now

canberra

2008-11-03T15:23:00.001+11:00

can i put up with that place all over again?
guess we'll find out soon enough.

leaving home!

2008-11-03T14:09:00.000+11:00

anyone know of a pet friendly household thats looking for a room mate?

oh dear.

2008-11-02T23:44:00.001+11:00

sorry to everyone i have avoided in the last two days.
still scraping my mind out of the gutter
Halloween was amazing

welcome

2008-10-29T22:24:00.001+11:00

the newest member of my family.

Stevie.

Brangelina eat your heart out

sleep still evades me

2008-10-27T23:34:00.002+11:00

i dont want another night of staring blankly at millionth reruns of law and order wishing that my sleeping pills gave me a little more than a nice buzz.

i need sleep. or someone to come keep me company

one week later...

2008-10-27T20:38:00.001+11:00

im a little tired of the suspicious glances and furrowed brows

Things get worse before they get better

2008-10-24T15:04:00.002+11:00

but how bad do they have to get?

junkie arm update:
the picture just doesnt do it justice

Grey skies

2008-10-23T12:26:00.003+11:00

i am trying to convince myself to go outside to the shops. need coffee, makeup and hairdye STAT.

and a whole new wardrobe but thats not going to happen so whatever.

so this is the result of my doctors appointment on MONDAY (keeping in mind today is thursday)
hello junkie arm! oh so attractive! but i think its starting to get better.. hence it being all green and shit. heaps love how it bruised the vein right up my arm. hotttt

anyway! hot damn tonight, hoping miss awesome will be here but i havent heard anything. have to go to dinner with the boy's parents tonight too... in a park, while its arctic weather outside. interesting.

coffee.... bye

hello nausea

2008-10-20T17:51:00.001+11:00

where have you been all my life?
can i wash you away with a chilled vodka and a sleeping pill?

DONT MIND IF I DO

Doctor, Doctor;

2008-10-20T10:29:00.003+11:00

My first (alive) day of unemployment.

I am sitting in my room half dressed trying to put off going to the doctors. its inevitable i know but all the things i have to get poked, prodded, looked at and medicated for... well its a long list.

Mostly i am scared. i dont want to find out im sick again. it was too scary and too much to handle the first time.

but, if i walk up the road to go i can spoil myself with coffee and other purchases.

oh maybe a new book. hmmm.

two date nights in a row this week. Tonight - Dinner with Grace Anatomy. whatta babe. lovely catch ups in a cosy pub setting.

and then tomorrow night - i am Miss Courtney Awesome's date to the Grand Social's pop up store party thingy.

and yes, we ARE going to drink that free booze like we worked for it.

okay. i cant put this off any longer.

luck.

so sick so sick of being tired

2008-10-19T18:35:00.002+11:00

and oh so tired of being sick.

i have the flu so hardcore it is surprising that i am actually still alive. my lack of sleep and bad habits and crazy head have caught up with me and my body if fighting a losing battle.

id be okay if i could just sleep... i just want some sleep.

Tonight

2008-10-16T11:00:00.000+11:00

Going to hot damn for the first time in 6 months

hmmm.

oh noes!

2008-10-16T09:41:00.001+11:00

Get Better Brian Kinney!

i just

2008-10-15T15:15:00.001+11:00

quit my job

i dont know where i am going from here.

oh dear

2008-10-15T11:59:00.001+11:00

I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I cant reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,
Always looking down at all I see

Tuesday.

2008-10-14T19:17:00.001+11:00

If you have a secret on your mind, then it may start becoming a little too burdensome to keep under wraps. The astral energy of the day could have the effect that, although you don't really want anyone to know, you find it very hard to keep quiet. This is especially difficult if it involves an affair of the heart, yet for peace of mind, you know what you have to do.

i cant yet.

Today

2008-10-13T12:21:00.002+11:00

Activities of various kinds in the company of either close friends lunch with lulu? or romantic partners nil could take up a lot of your time today as long as it gets me out of this house, Sarah. This could involve physical activity such as sports or exercise going for a run tonight fatty?, or it might involve parties always good to hear, or it could involve attending events such as lectures or workshops, concerts, or the theater. Expect a lot of stimulation hehe both physical and intellectual, and some interesting conversations. Enjoy your day.

You may well find that certain reservations begin to slowly clear up. still waiting A relationship in which you feel deeply bonded to the other has been causing you to feel a sense of misgiving and utter shitness, due to a recent communication problem that is an understatement. So far, it seems that this has been almost impossible to resolve ahh yes. But today a breakthrough occurs, and a very significant one at that. significantly bad or good? i havent figured that out yet

home is where your heart is

2008-10-12T21:29:00.001+11:00

my heart is lost. But i am back in sydney which would have been nice. I've had so much time to think, and now.. Well. Things probably wont be how we planned.

I would ask for tomorrow to be better

2008-10-12T00:42:00.002+11:00

but its already tomorrow and things arent looking up.

to the one kid who took the time to see how i am.... not one i would have expected.

Thank you.

on more than one occasion you have cared more than the people who should. im still glad that you do.

2008-10-11T22:01:00.004+11:00

I just came here to say that I'm going away

Something no little tear of yours can change

Like in that famous poem by Vulane

Like some ill wind, I'll blow away

Remember the good times that we had

Turn pale or suffocate, I truly regret

Yeah, I'm sorry to say that I'm going away

You ask me, did I love you?

Well, I loved you, okay

I just came here to say that I'm going away

Something no long sob of yours can change

Like in that great old poem by Vulane

Like some dead leaf, I'll blow away

You remember the sweet things that we said

Turn gray or moan or sway, I truly regret

Yeah, I'm sorry to say I only came to say I'm going away

Babe, because you did too much to me

Subtle

2008-10-11T14:30:00.005+11:00

Get out in the world as much as possible, leave the house? Sarah, because you have a great deal to share with others. excess weight? my lunch? Relationships with men will go especially well today, thats a laugh so now is a good time to patch up any differences i would if i werent calling the unattainable that may be dangling in the air. Open your mind up even wider than it already is and see how your energy energy? fits in with the collective. You have strong opinions you suck that will prove to be very useful in setting the record straight once and for all. i doubt that

This could be a day when meeting your soul mate should at least be a real possibility oh lucky I never left the house. Although technically you can meet your true partner anywhere and at any time oh like i need that hanging over my head, there is a certain essential balance in the air today that encourages harmonious encounters. Above all, you need to be totally utterly and truly yourself. because its so enticing

Insomnia

2008-10-10T00:21:00.002+11:00

je suis fatigue

2008-10-10T00:00:00.000+11:00

One more distraction

the gift that just keeps on giving

2008-10-09T21:51:00.001+11:00

hello today,

you are determined to make me miserable.

why?

what did i do to you?

cry

Bollocks

2008-10-09T21:00:00.000+11:00

You dont do that with me, and Ive asked so often.

Arch enemies and broken hearts.

Maybe I'm not as hopeful as I thought

Welcome to the day Miss M

2008-10-09T17:39:00.000+11:00

5 minutes out of bed and I hear

"I was thinking, you look less.... uh, slim than the last time I saw you"

Wow. Thanks. Because I wasnt aware enough of that as it is.

Brilliant.

So, Canberra is the same as always. Lots of guys in track pants with greasy looking mullets and girls with pineapple haircuts. Its a little depressing.

The weather is fine and my mother is fabulous and cooking non stop as always.

Lots of coffee dates and now I am going to teach myself french with my brand spanking new purchase from Borders.

oui oui

Obesophobia

2008-10-07T13:58:00.000+11:00

I need to get my life back together

V.I.P

2008-10-06T12:29:00.000+11:00

So.... Grace and I went VIP to metro station... hahaha. which i thought i would TOTALLY HATE. But, they were actually really good... and they completely sold out the roundhouse which is a fucking good effort.

they seem like good kids, at least... Anthony does. I am thanking my lucky stars i didn't have to spend my time around a certain other member who seems like a complete and utter tosser.

free everything at world bar with them was nice too. we got in on some gossip that's all "hush hush" and i made fun of them. all in all a good night.

CENSORED

2008-10-03T15:43:00.000+10:00

censorship: the control of speech and other forms of human expression.

POKEYDEX

2008-10-01T12:00:00.000+10:00

two of the hottest bitches out are djing at 777 on friday

could i be more excited, I DOUBT IT

Dear Chicago,

2008-09-30T18:33:00.003+10:00

You'll never guess.

You know the girl you said I'd meet someday?
Well, I've got something to confess.
She picked me up on Friday.
Asked me if she reminded me of you.
I just laughed and lit a cigarette,
Said "that's impossible to do. "
My life's gotten simple since.
And it fluctuates so much.
Happy and sad and back again.
I'm not crying out to much.
Think about you all the time.
It's strange and hard to deal.
Think about you lying there.
And those blankets lie so still.
Nothing breathes here in the cold.
Nothing moves or even smiles.
I've been thinking some of suicide.
But there's bars out here for miles.
Sorry about the every kiss.
Every kiss you wasted back.
I think the thing you said was true,
I'm going to die alone and sad.

The wind's feeling real these days.
Yeah, baby, it hurt's me some.
Never thought I'd feel so blue.
New York City, you're almost gone.
I think that I've fallen out of love,
I think I've fallen out of love... with you.

Dear You.

2008-09-30T12:09:00.000+10:00

i hate everything about you.

you're a fucking cunt and i wish you'd drop off the face if the planet.

you make me physically sick and if i have to be in the same room as you again i will only just be able to restrain myself from stabbing you in the face.

ggrrrrr

get out of my head

2008-09-30T09:42:00.000+10:00

you arent supposed to be there

where I wish I could be all day, everyday.

2008-09-29T20:19:00.001+10:00

hiding in a book

dancin machine..

2008-09-29T11:53:00.000+10:00

what a weekend.
friday night was a little too eventful for me and I ended up quite a sick little girl. But! having said that 777 was packed out and so much fun! between the massive elvis walls, the metalocalypse stamp, free drinks and djing i had an amazing time... just went a bit far and a bit off plan. but thats nothing out of the usual for us..

then i had to get out of bed at 730am because Pam got here. i cooked us breakfast and we watched Dirty Work. Hilars. it was so good to see her again after so long and i miss her already. But she's coming up again soon to party... after snoop dog. hahahaha. brilliant.

saturday night was great! everyone came over for drinks (PUNCH) and we sat outside and talked shit for a few hours and then went out. Pam and I didnt stay out long. haha. SO EXHAUSTED.

and now. now I am sitting at work thinking of everything thats going on at the moment. Just thinking about how many amazing people i have met this year and how i should probably be a better person towards them.. all these brilliant ladies.

i am also the proud owner of some new shiny sexy sun specs. Ive waited so longgggg. and I got them cheap cheap on sale. in the words of PeachE BARGAIN!!

I'd really like to go and have lunch and hang out but ill have to wait a while longer... gahh.

killing me.

Can I please have

2008-09-24T17:19:00.001+10:00

this saturday is going to be amazing.

FRICK

2008-09-24T15:25:00.001+10:00

Decision hasnt been made yet.

PLEASE I JUST WANT TO KNOW NOW.

The wait is killing me

I have noticed

2008-09-24T13:47:00.000+10:00

that more and more life is reminding me of highschool.

and, like in highschool, no matter how much I try, or care no one really wants to be my friend.

I dont have enough material possessions to entice all the wrong people.

Im also still wondering why I even care?

Good times will roll on

2008-09-24T11:28:00.000+10:00

Aha shake.

So, the last few days.

We're still waiting to hear if we got the apartment we applied for that has the best/worst location. You can see it from the spectrum/qbar balcony. Right behind Hungraaay Cracks. It was so cute and pretty much perfect... I didnt want to get my hopes up but of course I have.... and I am the most impatient person in the world. I have been driving peach crazy with a constant barrage of emails.. "heard anything yet???"...

No, havent heard anything yet. Sigh.

I had the amazing news that Seans dad came out of open heart surgery fine and dandy a couple of minutes ago! What a relief, for reals.

I had a great weekend last weekend. Amazing tales of big yellow buckets of punch and whole bottles of vodka. And lots and lots of Kings of Leon!! I had the best time dressing up as twinsies with Lulu and her being scared witless by Bob. Hilars.

I was in dire need of a girly day/night and it was freaking amazz. Even if i ended up only staying out on the town for like an hour hahahah.

I am so excited that Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam is coming up this weekend. Man oh man. Its going to be huge. So! If you're around on saturday come over for punch and sweet hangs and then come chill with the "trendy" kids at vegas woo!

Sigh. can I go home now?

YESSSS

2008-09-19T12:22:00.001+10:00

im doing pre drinks.

im making punch!!!!!!!!!!!

in a bucket

yesssss

You'd better learn to crawl before I walk away..

2008-09-19T12:22:00.000+10:00

So im sitting at home having my first listen to the whole kings of leon album.... and i am getting so excited. when they tour... its going to be amazing. seriously. I am two songs in and already so impressed with it.

its much more mature and confident... but still definately brings the sexy which i am, as you know, relieved about.

Their album launch at spectrum should be huge on saturday night... free giveaways of their whole back catalogue plus the newbies... and everyone loves free shit.

anyway im sitting here and im bored and wishing i had someone to hang out with, boo no friends boo haha.

but really.

CUNTWHOREBITCHSHITFUCKINGWANK

2008-09-17T13:37:00.001+10:00

i am hating on life so hard today you wouldnt even believe.

i fucking hate people who have their keypad tones turned up on their phones and they sit there and type novel long sms' and it just beeps incessently and i want to reach over and tear their eyes out.

i hate people who are cunts, who know they are cunts, who know i think they are cunts but still persist on trying to be friendly. you dont like me, i pretty much think you're the stupidest most self centered thing on two legs and would like to see you hit by a car.. lets just leave it at that?

like i said. hating on life.

i hate staring into space all day every day feeling like a complete fucking idiot and not getting any help because no one has any fucking social skills to explain anything.

i hate not being able to punch that greasy moronic cunt in the face every time i am forced to lay eyes on him.

FUCK

One way flight to where?

2008-09-17T10:05:00.000+10:00

the u.s?

the u.k?

i cant decide as of yet.

but ive got to do something i cant sit here in front of this stupid computer any longer.

im losing my mind.

Good Morning

2008-09-16T10:23:00.000+10:00

Ah its such a lovely day outside today, and it sucks that i am stuck inside so far from a window and the niceness. sigh.

tonight i shall be attending the Australian Penthouse Pet of the Year Awards.

LOL.

should be interesting. there's performances by the pets apparently. and im wondering if it involves ping pong balls... hmmm. itd be interesting to say the least.

i dont really have anything of substance to say. i just cant be bothered starting any work yet.

sigh.

truths

2008-09-15T14:59:00.000+10:00

people are fucking stupid

2008-09-15T14:30:00.000+10:00

for reals.

pull your heads out. the whole world doesnt revolve around you no matter how much you think it does

Most Amazing

2008-09-14T17:02:00.001+10:00

The most amazing night i could ever ask for.

Dustin!!!!

I have looked up to and followed this trashbag since the age of about 15.
Many memories of reading Thrasher with Viney and making Kurt angry because he hated him and liked all the hip hop kids and gangster skaters.

Piss Drunx. Fuck Yes

everyone has their side kick

2008-09-13T18:09:00.000+10:00

their partner in crime.

i wish i had mine

miss p is going to blow everyone away.......

eventually

i dont care how gay it is

2008-09-12T12:08:00.001+10:00

i think this is hilarious

day one

2008-09-11T12:28:00.000+10:00

my stomach is like an opera of groans.

sigh.

just chillin at work.

hoping miss CA and young OA are doing alright.

Get better soon stud

doors closing, please stand clear

2008-09-10T16:46:00.000+10:00

i wonder how many times in my life i have heard those words. I don't think i could even count. anyway. I'm sitting on the train on the way home from gosford. Every trip up here makes me think i should really find out if he's still alive. I always wonder, and then it seems as soon as we're back in the city it completely slips my mind. I think that makes me a pretty shit person. It does quite literally make my heart hurt to think i don't know where he is and we don't talk anymore. But i guess its just an old story that ran out of pages to be written on. That seems to happen a lot. I've had some self realisations lately that haven,t been great. Not even remotely good. Which sucks. Especially when its so hard to find something good to start with. Its the same old complaints again and again. Can i please go back and not be this person? 'Well i hate who i was, and who i've been since'. Pretty much sums things up nicely. I cant pretend i'm happy in this (over sized, flabby revolving) skin these days. Vicious. Miserable about it, but too spent to help myself. Blah blah blah. Cry me a river. Thanks jt. Tunnels make my ears pop. Ouch.

please sir

2008-09-09T17:09:00.001+10:00

New Tunes

2008-09-09T10:13:00.000+10:00

So usually on cryspace I avoid adding any bands or anything cos they usually suck in a big way and its all the same shit. usually no, i do not want to add your crying emo/stupid electro indie bullshit piece of crap band fuck off and die.

but. i was feeling the need to annoy a certain someone trying to sleep last night so i started listening to a band that had sent me a friend request and, shock horror, they were good.

Anyone who knows me knows how badly i want to learn french and go live like a filthy snob in paris. They'd also know how deep down despite the hair and hooker heels i am still very much a filthy tomboy who loves dirty crappy punk rock.

Considering those two facts, The Rabats are now my new favourite.

Its intense feral punk/hardcore thats been missing from my life for too long. Its angry and violent, the type of thing you'd listen to while getting really wasted and punching your grandma in the face.

I am pretty certain its in french, which is just another reason to sign up next year to learn it. But alas, if you have no urge to learn it im certain you could just stand there an yell and have just as much fun.

its so nice to find something with attitude and a different range of emotions other than "ohhhh ohhh my life is so bland and my girlfriend is so far away and ohhh im so amazing at usuing metaphors to show how deep i am blah blah blah"

So! check check them out, and their top friends are full of other brilliant bands like The Pousers and Les Prostitutes which also definitely warrant your ears and your time.

But if you'll excuse me im going to go spit on old facists and give the two finger salute.

Boyfriends do it best

2008-09-08T18:20:00.000+10:00

what a fucking buzzkill. jesus christ. way to ruin a great day asshole.

for a monday, a monday where i had to work, it was pretty freaking good. it went fast and i spent most of it making flashing seizure inducing banners, talking smack with miss CA and getting a little bit over the top excited about Stormy's contribution to making me look heaps cooler than i am. oh ray bans how ive lusted after you since before i can remember.

i had so many exciting tales to tell. but alas you're in your angry pose:
who knew you were so flexible.

my eyes feel like theyre hanging out of my head and god damn it does my hair need a wash. fuck that its so much effort these days with my 896348936kilos of hair hanging all over the place.

anyway. THANKS. for turning today around. what a hateful look spite fest evening this will turn out to be.

***edit.

sigh. i do love him though.

Marry Me

2008-09-08T17:29:00.001+10:00

You're pretty proficient at putting my thoughts into words ( in the least faggot sounding way ever) without knowing it and now i'm going to be rocking the cool because of you.

best.bitch.ever

Courtney Awesome

2008-09-08T14:47:00.000+10:00

In case ya'll didnt know this lovely lady keeps me and my shit together. I dont know anyone else who would cop multiple stupid phone calls every single day and still be happy to hear from me.

YOUNGMACHETEMAFIA

time of our lives

2008-09-08T12:54:00.000+10:00

things are a little more than crazy and this week will be no exception.

with dentist appointments in gosford on wednesday

judas priest and sevensevenseven:

and then SEX + GLUE:

My love is up for sale

2008-09-08T12:50:00.000+10:00

price:

**note

2008-09-05T12:20:00.001+10:00

not that i dont appreciate and love those weekend ladies. but the dream team will always accrue jealously from me

jealousy

2008-09-05T10:55:00.000+10:00

i long for the days of girly chats tucked up in bed with messy food and bad tv.

not weekend friends i try to make too much of a connection with when all they know about me is what i like to drink

and i cant..

2008-09-04T16:44:00.000+10:00

help feeling like i'm missing something.